All Tied Up And Ready
by Alphabet Pie
Summary: Starscream gets more than he bargained for when he returns to Earth in search of a legendary Kiss Player. Crack. TFA universe with AU KH characters. No pairings as of yet.
1. All Tied Up And Ready

Some people, as they say, have got the touch.

In some professions, _the touch_ is left dubiously ambiguous. In fewer, the reason is not because its definition cannot be summed up in one easy sentence. When it comes to _this_ profession, elaboration is rarely required.

A few select individuals, those with the highest natural ability, the _touch_, are trained and partnered for combat; intense, blindingly split second, life and death intergalactic battle. It takes skill to survive and more to do so with enough of one's body left to fight again.

Perversion says that ninety five percent of those with this talent are barely-legal females with slender bodies and frankly inappropriate costumes. Humorously enough, the same perversion says that the other five percent is me.

The touch? Merging with giant alien robots. The profession?

_Kiss Players_.

* * *

Note: The concept for this story is loosely based on the Kiss Players from the Transformers continuity of the same name, however it has no correlation to the original Kiss Players universe. It's set in the Transformers: Animated universe, with all Kingdom Hearts characters (more or less) normal humans. The entire thing is 90% crack and the other 10% is just plain silly, so please don't take it seriously under any circumstances. If you've got any problems with giant robots, nudity, people kissing robots and various other forms of idiocy, please don't read. There may be pairings in future episodes, but nothing is decided for certain. The events of the story happen after Season Three of Transformers: Animated, although I'll try to refrain from revealing as many spoilers as I can. If anybody's unfamiliar with the TF:A universe, all the episodes can be found on YouTube. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy the ride!


	2. Sealed With a Kiss I

**Episode One - Sealed with a Kiss I**

**

* * *

**

When it came to Kiss Players, jealousy didn't even cover it. Starscream was by nature an envious creature - he was not greedy, he simply coveted what others had precisely because they had it. Materialistic possessions, wealth, influence, _power_... Starscream wanted it all. In his eyes if another bot could obtain it, by dint of his sheer superiority Starscream deserved it. Megatron's control over the Decepticons had been Starscream's ultimate goal for more than four million extensive stellar cycles - but now Megatron was in the Autobot stockade, the fool; Starscream was only sorry that it was that insignificant Autobot Optimus Prime and not him that had had the chance to sustain the fatal blow. The Decepticons were all but defeated and while Starscream had proposed to do them a favour by rousing the stragglers into an organised offence on the Autobot scum, he had been spurned. Those moronic imbeciles could not see past their own thick skulls to recognise the potential of the Decepticons under Starscream's rule.

But as much as Starscream had fumed, insulted and downright sulked, they would not yield. Better to skulk in shadows than go offline in a short-lived fuse of glory, they said. Strutless cowards, all of them. Starscream did not admit to himself that he sympathised.

But Kiss Players - otherwise useless organic creatures, crawling and insignificant, who had been infused with the power of the AllSpark itself - were something different. A Kiss Player could merge with a Cybertronian body and triple its strength, speed and firepower. If Starscream had a Kiss Player, the Decepticons would have no choice but to follow him. None would stand a chance in combat against him. But of course, they all belonged to the Autobots, self proclaimed protectors of the planet Earth and all its inhabitants, deserving or no. That and Starscream had no ship, no Space Bridge access, no co-ordinates - essentially, no means to travel to Earth, capture a Kiss Player, and complete his triumphant conquest of the Decepticons.

So Starscream was stuck in a state of useless craving and desire, basic obnoxious need for everything and no manner in which to obtain any of it. Jealousy did not even begin to span the ugly turmoil in Starscream's never satisfied spark.

* * *

When it came to the flawless success of Marluxia's dirty, underhanded tactics, smug was too small a word to satisfy his ego. Oh, but for the beautiful idiocy of his fellow organics, so easy to swindle and deceive!

Long legs easily dominating the mundane concrete slabs of downtown Detroit, Marluxia did not flee so much as make a timely, laughably easy exit. Humans, they were so truly pathetic, their minds blinded by carnal cravings, regrettably short sighted and now considerably worse off than they had been twenty minutes ago. Kiss Players were big business these days; unfortunately, certain shady individuals seemed to think that by dint of having incredible power locked within one made one an easy target for extortion - Marluxia had been quick to prove them wrong.

Gracing a corner, he heard the furious screech of tyres behind him and swore, ducking into the awning of the nearest building and pressing his sleek body to the shadows as a muscle car flew past him. A few seconds later two more followed, then silence. Marluxia doubled back the way he had come, gripping a convenient handhold as he vaulted up in three easy manoeuvres onto the corrugated cardboard roof of the nearest factory warehouse. Detroit was littered with them, large and small, relics to the old car industry that had once thrived here. Now it was the automaton capital of the world... curious indeed that it was also home to the world's only sentient robots. Marluxia did not waste a second pondering that startling coincidence as a fourth equally suspicious car screamed vengeance along the road, blind to his position in the drawing darkness of the evening. Marluxia laughed, stood, and walked to the edge of the roof, plopping neatly to the ground. Smug did not cover it: vainglorious was a far prettier four-syllable word that Marluxia was more than egotistical enough to apply to himself. The walk home was a breeze.

Until he idly stepped onto the striped paint of a crossroads and four fuming cars barely missed his body as they roared to a stop.

Oh, _slag_.

* * *

When Megatron escaped from the stockades it brought nothing more than a wry, humourless smirk to Starscream's mouth. Typical of the Autobots: they could neither kill nor keep the Decepticon's (undeserving) leader. Starscream had had the worthless warlord on the verge of falling offline for four million stellar cycles and the Autobots couldn't even keep him in stasis for ten. All they merited was a derisive sneer and a sarcastic wish of luck from Megatron's former Second in Command.

When it was that same Second in Command that the Autobots turned to for help, Starscream's reaction was decidedly disparate. Surprise, shock, grim conceit - and a devilish plan already forming inside his processor. Where was Megatron? He had returned to Earth, no doubt having caught wind of the rumours and after a coveted Kiss Player. What Starscream saw in the Elite Guard's pleas and offers was a free ticket to Earth and power. For Starscream's practised artistic talent it was a cinch to secure their trust and a place - albeit bound in stasis cuffs - on the next ship to Earth.

For once Starscream had only kind words for the Autobots - at least, their sheer naivety. Had they really expected that he, a Decepticon down to every devious microchip, would so willingly work with them? Their idiocy was practically cute, and thanks to it Starscream was soon running blessed riot through the evening streets of Detroit. Of course it was only a matter of cycles before the Autobots were hot on his tailpipes... Starscream would rather have liked it if they'd just let him grab a Kiss Player and go, but he was willing to wait a few solar cycles more.

Dancing with simple grace through the towering skyscrapers then sprawling warehouses of the city, Starscream laughed at the ease of his escape. Soon, the Decepticons would be his. That bucket of bolts Megatron wouldn't stand a chance. He grinned to himself as sirens approached, running a little further just to tease the groundlings when suddenly the came upon a crossroads and something small, fast and warm sprang onto his chassis and pressed with a sense of urgency against his faceplates. There flashed a feverish rush of heat, and pure, electric power overwhelmed him.

* * *

It was just Marluxia's miraculous luck that as he retreated against the unyielding glare of headlights and silhouetted figures climbed from the cars, a towering robotic body crashed its foot down on a convertible, firing pink beams of destruction in an apparently nonchalantly aberrant manner. He took no chances, flinging his body against the cool alien metalwork and reaching its head to kiss and combine.

Marluxia had never Kiss Played a sentient robot before: in his training, now complete, he had frequently powered up artificial electrical bodies with his AllSpark-saturated kiss but a real, living Cybertronian, Marluxia quickly learned, was horrendously different. Two souls battling for dominion, a phenomenal influx in raw power, not to mention mass confusion on the part of this particular robot. But Marluxia had the advantage: he knew what he was doing and his new body hadn't got a clue.

He fired a smoking hole in his previous cage of cars, sending his adversaries scattering, then destroyed their vehicles, too, just for good measure. That would teach them to cross a Kiss Player-

"_Get out of my processor!_"

The sudden screeching demand that Marluxia felt the robot vocalise snapped him from his victory as the shared body stumbled drunkenly backwards and crashed into the side of a building. He rolled his proverbial eyes, and righted himself with an easy kick of one stabilising servo.

"Calm your circuits! I just Kiss Played you!"

There was a pause and freeze in the mechanical body that not even Marluxia could override.

"You're a Kiss Player?"

"_Duh._"

The wail of sirens, a common noise in Detroit, approached ever faster and from the street corner burst a familiar face to both Kiss Player and bot - that of Optimus Prime, the leader of the Earth-bound Autobots. Hard on his heels came others, weapons readied. By some natural instinct, Marluxia and his borrowed body stepped backwards enough to be successful.

"Why are they pointing their weapons at you?" Marluxia began to ask, momentarily confused - but reaching out to probe the metallic chassis, he soon realised. "Oh. You're a Decepticon, aren't you?"

The bot - with the physique of a jet, and a sleek one at that - laughed sardonically.

"Look who just arrived at the party."

He chuckled at what Marluxia assumed was some in joke he didn't catch, and raised his arm to fire a smoking hole in any pesky Autobots that dared stand in his way. Marluxia couldn't fight the innate control - but at least he could throw the Decepticon's aim off enough so that none of the Autobots were too badly harmed. Didn't Optimus Prime have his own Kiss Player, the Sumdac girl? He must have considered one stray Decepticon too little a threat to warrant her involvement - but Prime hadn't anticipated said Decepticon to have been Kiss Played.

Oops.

* * *

Starscream had never anticipated battling for control over his own body. Kiss Players were supposed to be nothing more than tools, helpless alone and obsequious to their master's whims. This one appeared to have Kiss Played him with the full intention of simply using his body for his own means. _Him_, the mighty Starscream, as though _he_ was simply the inanimate object! But Starscream's usual self-righteous fury was somewhat dampened and that was by the sheer power coursing through his circuitry. It burned within him like a flushing, orgasmic heat. Physical boundaries in his processor melted away, its abrupt vastness giddying him with buzzing energy.

Two well placed shots pulverised windows and disintegrated walls before Starscream fired his thrusters, hard, and burst into the sky. It didn't matter. He could blackmail this pathetic human into submission; then he'd have more than enough limitless power to take down Megatron _and_ those worthless Autobots.

* * *

"He was Kiss Played!"

He ought to have been dubbed Sentinel Obvious, Optimus Prime thought as he knelt down and plucked up the charred remains of a full set of clothes, sighing.

"I told you those humans weren't worthy to hold the power of the AllSpark," Sentinel was ranting on in the background as Optimus straightened and transformed to return to base. Ultra Magnus, apparently the only bot with the power to keep Sentinel in line, quieted him with a few deadpanned words.

"Optimus. Who was the Kiss Player he captured?"

"It was Marluxia."

"Ah."

Optimus Prime, for all his flaws, always tried to trust in his colleagues, Cybertronian and organics alike - but he'd never been able to extend the same honour to the Kiss Player Marluxia. Now it seemed his hunch was correct: he'd Kiss Played a Decepticon. One as treacherous and unpredictable as Starscream, at that. It was almost fitting, the morally dubious Marluxia with the equally grey-area former Decepticon Second in Command.

Not to mention the fact that Marluxia was one of the most powerful Kiss Players Optimus and his own Player, Sari, had ever trained. This was going to be a problem.

* * *

Starscream's timely exit was interrupted somewhere on the forested outskirts of Detroit when he suddenly crashed into an involuntary nosedive and landed in a crumpled heap in the middle of a clearing. Night had drawn in, cold and dank - but even this uncomfortable environment was nothing compared to the engine-tank curling sensation of a small, fleshy body falling out of this plating and solidifying next to him on the floor.

He rolled over onto his hands and knees, and inspected it closely. After a moment's examination, he realised that it was laughing. Disgruntled to his spark, Starscream opened his mouth for a bitter and irritable demand, but the worthless human flapped it away with its hand.

"That was fun."

"It's not supposed to be _fun_," Starscream huffed indignantly as the organic stood and brushed itself off. It even had the audacity to laugh at him as he dumped his aft on the floor and petulantly crossed his arms over his cockpit.

"Sulky, aren't you?"

"_Sulky_?" Starscream fumed. "Sulky! Do you realise who you're talking to?"

The man stood with identically crossed arms, posture confident and expression smug.

"As a matter of fact, no. Why don't you enlighten me?"

This human oozed egotism and Starscream immediately loathed it.

"Fool!" He began, to build a little momentum into his introduction, "The _name_ is Starscream, exalted leader of all Decepticons!"

Starscream was perfectly used to people - human and Autobot - interrupting him there with some vexatious comment about Decepticon leaders and Megatron, but the human simply listened to him with false pensiveness, and silently urged him to continue after the first sentence was done. Starscream, never having received this reaction before, had no more.

"Yes." He finished lamely. The human smirked (and how dearly Starscream wished to wipe that smirk from his elegant face) and extended a hand as though Starscream actually _wanted_ to touch it.

"I'm Marluxia."

When Starscream stalled and did not react, Marluxia shrugged to himself and turned to walk away.

"Thanks for the ride."

Realising that his craved quarry was escaping, Starscream stood abruptly and skidded through the mud to stop Marluxia.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Home," Marluxia said flatly, and walked carelessly around Starscream's leg. Furious, Starscream grabbed the human and raised him close to his face.

"You listen to me," He began, thrown when Marluxia didn't even try to struggle, "You're mine now, and you do what _I_ say. Or else I'll-" He struggled momentarily for a fittingly devilish threat- "I'll kill you."

Marluxia considered this with a quirky smile to his lips. Then he looked down and traced a pattern in the dust and dirt that had settled on Starscream's claws.

"You look like you could do with a wash."

"You're supposed to scream!" Starscream exclaimed indignantly, not liking where this conversation was going one bit. "You're supposed to be scared of me, _why aren't you scared_?"

"I have no reason to fear that which I can control," Marluxia replied smoothly. Starscream ground his teeth. Nobody spoke to him in such a manner! Well... a lot of people did, but Starscream wouldn't admit that.

"You can't control me!"

"Oh, so your aim is naturally that terrible?"

If he'd had hair, Starscream would have torn it out in exasperation. This organic had no right to brush aside Starscream's prowess so nonchalantly! His pride boiled beneath his plating, trapped between admitting weakness in one area or another. So he ignored the question and retorted with a snappish insult.

"Shut your mouth, foul organic."

Marluxia actually complied, much to Starscream's surprise, and took to watching him with an amused expression.

"And stop looking at me like that."

Marluxia chuckled lightly.

"I apologise. I was just waiting for you to do something."

Outraged, Starscream roughly threw the human to the floor. He bounced harmlessly across the dirt and plucked himself up, grinning most horribly.

"I have had _enough_!" Starscream announced furiously, raising his his null ray guns to target the man's pretty face. "You think that your insolence will not slip by me unpunished, human? I'll make you regret the day you were-!"

He stalled, knowing that humans weren't protoformed but painfully ignorant of the techniques used to create new organics.

"Born." Marluxia helpfully supplied. Starscream's shoulders slumped, weapon dropping to his side.

"Born," He uselessly completed. Marluxia strode over and patted his metal framework, offering him an amused grin that made Starscream's circuits boil.

"I like you."

Starscream opened his mouth for a vicious reply, some vague screech about how dare he be so insolent and sarcastic, but Marluxia was already taking his leave.

"You need me," He challenged fruitlessly instead. Marluxia outright laughed.

"There are other bots for me to Kiss Play."

"Don't you have a partner?" Starscream asked, desperate for at least some sort of small victory against the human for him to celebrate. At last, Marluxia stopped, hanging naked at the edge of the clearing.

"They don't trust me with one."

He was gone.


	3. Sealed With a Kiss II

**Episode Two – Sealed with a Kiss II**

Difficult as any human should have found it to not be intimidated by an assembly of two-story tall robots, Marluxia did not so much as blink at their cold optical glares. He had been trained to evade and even disarm Decepticons with the highest efficiency - and that theory could always be applied to Autobots, too. So he sat with his spine straight, his visage expressionless bar the slight upwards curve of ultra-powered lips.

Eventually it was Optimus Prime, leader of the Earth arm of the Autobots, to engage first contact.

"Marluxia," He began sternly, "You should be ashamed of yourself,"

Marluxia minutely crooked one elegant eyebrow and said nothing.

"You have great power, and with great power comes great responsibility," The robot continued, another snippet of speech that must have been hardwired into his processor. "And you of _all_ Kiss Players should know not to abuse that power!"

Without even registering his own movement, Marluxia sat forwards in his chair a little.

"To Kiss Play a Decepticon!" Another bot, Sentinel Prime, snapped, apparently unable to contain himself any longer. "Have you forgotten that they are the _enemy_, human? Primus, I knew you were stupid but this really does top it all."

A stony glare from the third standing Autobot - Ultra Magnus - silenced him. Optimus sighed audibly, pinching the bridge of his helmet.

"Marluxia, I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to respect the power that the AllSpark has given you. While you were bonded to Starscream you could have offlined any of us, not to mention the property damage you caused!"

"Better than letting him fire a smoking hole in your motherboard," Marluxia retorted sardonically.

"That's not the point!" Optimus exclaimed. "Marluxia, at the spark of Autobot code is the need to trust one another. And if we cannot trust you then everything we stand for falls down! The Decepticons are stronger, faster, and better armed than we are and the one thing we cannot afford is deception in our own ranks. Do I make myself clear?"

Marluxia groaned - like he hadn't heard _any_ of that before - and stood without a word. His break for the door was interrupted by a gargantuan servo slamming down before him.

"I said, do I make myself clear?"

Marluxia glanced up at the robot's stony expression and found himself biting however minutely at his lip. Optimus Prime simply did not _do_ anger. He was - as his name inferred - ever the optimist, always seeking for the one shred of good in a blackened spark - or heart. In fact, Optimus was probably the only reason Marluxia had been accepted into the Autobot ranks. And as much as Marluxia was driven by his own interests, he could not face that look without flinching.

"Crystal."

Optimus Prime stood back, leaving Marluxia clear access to the doorway. But the other Prime stopped him.

"You are not to leave this complex until further notice."

Marluxia growled under his throat, too silently for Sentinel to hear, and spun on his heel.

"Fine."

* * *

"Oh, glorious Megatron, I do not understand! What power could a measly human possibly have that could surpass your prowess?"

Sometimes, the idiocy of his subordinates was almost too much even for Megatron's superior processor. Since Starscream's betrayal and Blackarachnia's disappearance, his personal guard had been reduced to just two Decepticons - and between them, they had fewer logical circuits than a trash bot. But beggars couldn't choosers - and after his last humiliating defeat Megatron needed as much support from his ranks as he could muster.

"The Kiss Players have been infused with the power of the AllSpark itself, Lugnut," He drawled for the twentieth time. "If I am to destroy the Autobots once and for all, I must have superior firepower."

"It is of the highest tactical advantage," Megatron's second loyal guard added in his thick, Germanic accent. Megatron braced himself for the inevitable insanity that would surely occur whenever Blitzwing opened his mouth. "_You are such a lady's bot! Ahahahaha!_"

Megatron grit his teeth. After his break from Kaon, the Autobot prison, he had located Lugnut and promoted him to second in command in Starscream's absence and set up an outpost a few planets from Earth. No doubt security on the mudball of a planet had tripled since his escape; it was only a matter of waiting for their attention to lapse. But, he found himself thinking sardonically as Blitzwing and Lugnut broke into yet another argument, who needed the stockade when one could have such effective punishment as this?

* * *

Solar cycles passed.

Solar cycles passed and Starscream hunted for the Kiss Player named Marluxia, but staying covert in Detroit was a hopeless task even after the Elite Guard Autobots departed to their home planet, Cybertron. And being human, there was no tracking Marluxia down with energy signatures. Eventually there was nothing Starscream could do but sit tight in the Decepticon's old secret hideout in Detroit's disused mine shafts and wait.

But by the AllSpark, Marluxia was _powerful_. Starscream could still taste the flesh tinted intoxication of the Player's kiss on his lips, and his avaricious spark desired only for more. He _had_ to have Marluxia's unimaginable power for his own, no matter the price. It was just a case of concocting a plan, and even with such a sophisticated processor as his, he still could not fathom _how_ to lure his prey out into the open.

It turned out that he didn't have to. Just days after the Elite Guard's departure, two very familiar Decepticon energy signatures loomed in the periphery of Starscream's radars and he smiled a predatory smile, standing to his full height and slipping from the entrance of the mine shaft in the dead of night. Sleek and beautiful curves were only accentuated by the reflection of the full moon as he fired his thrusters and shot into the sky to watch with amusement the chaos unfolding below and seek a certain pink haired Kiss Player.

* * *

Without the Elite Guard, there were five Autobots on Earth: Optimus Prime, for whom Marluxia held a grudging respect; Ratchet, the (ageing) war veteran and medic; the reclusive ninjabot Prowl and his opposite the all-too-excitable Bumblebee, and Bulkhead, no explanations required. Then there were the Kiss Players, all miniature women with meek demeanours (with the exception of Sari Sumdac, who was as spunky as a girl could get).

And then there was Marluxia.

He'd always been the third wheel, the oddity, the shadow of the group that nobody, organic or robotic, really trusted. But Primus, was he powerful. Perhaps that was _why_ half an eye was always kept on his sleek form, because of the sheer AllSpark energy that pulsed through his veins. To say he was troubled by the fact would be inaccurate - but that he didn't care wasn't exactly true either.

The Kiss Players all had quarters at the Autobot base, although they all usually lived elsewhere, and it was to his room that Marluxia had stalked after Sentinel's order. He'd been trapped spending nights glaring at the high ceiling and training with the more friendly Autobots for over a week now, and he was bored out of his mind. And the more boredom ensued, the more tantalising the prospect of speaking out under the Autobots' noses became. Marluxia knew where he'd go.

Starscream. Marluxia had the robot's streamlined contours burned into his brain, and were it not for his attitude Marluxia had no doubt that he would make the perfect partner. Slick, aerodynamic, as graceful as he was powerful with speed that would not only break the sound barrier but shatter it - not to mention a curiously fitting paint job. It was like Starscream had been _made_ for Marluxia. But he was a Decepticon, if a traitorous one (for Marluxia had accessed all the information he could find on the jet). That... complicated things.

But it was during another lazy day of doing absolutely nothing and the AllSpark energy practically burning inside him that the Autobots were suddenly on red alert: there had been two Decepticon sightings in downtown Detroit. Suddenly everybody was gone and suddenly the door was wide open for Marluxia to finally stretch his legs and walk right out.

He knew where he was headed and he knew who he was looking for.

Because what other opportunity was so perfect to prove to the Autobots that Marluxia was more than capable of exploiting Starscream's sorry chassis than two rouge Decepticons?

* * *

"I have not missed this mudball of a planet."

Blitzwing's first face glanced thoughtfully around at the sprawling warehouses of downtown Detroit with a calculative optic. Cars trailed like nanobots across arching bridges and through tunnelling underpasses, blind to the harbingers of destruction observing them from the roof of a nearby skyscraper.

"It is not worthy," His mentally deficient companion promptly replied. Of what, he did not specify - but Blitzwing could have guessed as fast as his personality could change. It began with '_Mega_' and ended with '_tron_'.

"THEN WE SHALL DESTROY IT!"

"No!" Lugnut thundered. "This is a covert operation! Megatron commands! We must locate a Kiss Player and return to him swiftly!"

Inwardly wondering if Lugnut even _knew_ the meaning of covert, Blitzwing sighed and transformed to his first alternate mode: a blocky, but no less lethal, jet.

"Because we are so inconspicuous, aren't we? _Ooh! Maybe we should wear those yellow hats like humans! Ahahaha_!"

"Fool! You dishonour the Decepticon name!"

"NOT AS MUCH AS YOU DISHONOUR OUR REPUTATION FOR INTELLIGENCE, YOU HULKING IDIOT!"

They shot into the sky, firing burning shots into the ground for good measure. Far below them pitiful humans scurried and yelled, emergency vehicles with wailing sirens drawing along the shattered roads.

"Hey! Decepticreeps, down here!"

"Autobot scum!" Lugnut bellowed with sparkfelt disdain, braking sharply and aiming his fire at the small collection of robots who'd transformed out of nowhere. Blitzwing followed, landing on steady servos to blast the groundlings into submission.

"Why don't you stay still?" He asked at the annoyingly speedy yellow one. "TYPICAL AUTOBOT! ALWAYS RUNNING LIKE THE COWARDS YOU ARE!"

A well-aimed icy blast had the bright little compact skidding into a wall, and Blitzwing's fire cannon soon took care of the black and gold motorcycle trying to creep up behind him.

"Ratchet! We need back up, stat!"

The two other Autobots, hulking green and entirely familiar red and blue, were having their exhaust ports handed to them by Lugnut, and it was only at the yelled order that Blitzwing turned to see none other than the object of Megatron's defeat.

"Optimus Prime," He stated, lifting the smaller bot by his neck and watching him struggle with a certain sadistic pleasure. "I cannot believe that it was you who overwhelmed Megatron himself. _Ahaha! And I never did get to see you turn into a fire truck!_"

He cast the Prime against the nearest wall with destructive ease and the Autobot crumpled to the floor.

"YOU ARE SO WEAK! I COULD CRUSH YOU WITH ONE SERVO!"

He aimed his cannons to take Optimus Prime offline in one fell discharge. All the other Autobots were either unconscious or helpless to aid their leader.

"Truly pathetic."

After his fall, Optimus Prime struggled to stand and Blitzwing let his usually stoic expression twist into a sneer.

Easy as thought, he charged his cannons, ready to fire-

He was interrupted.

He was interrupted by a blast to his head, knocking him off balance and destroying his concentration. Personality reeling into anger, he span around ready to crush any bot with enough gall to strike him so underhandedly. Lugnut beat him to vocalising his shock.

"Starscream? Didn't Megatron take you offline? _Several times_?"

The Seeker outright laughed.

"Still that old fool's lackeys, are you? And here I thought even you would have realised he was a hopeless case by now."

"Lies!" Lugnut roared. "Megatron is wise, Megatron is great, Megatron will hunt you down and destroy you before you can-!"

"Oh, shut up."

One sonic blast was enough to throw even Lugnut's vast bulk into the nearest building, debris flying. The great plane hauled himself to his feet and charged, howling in self-righteous fury.

"How dare you!"

Blitzwing returned to sensibility long enough to realise.

"Lugnut, no! He's been Kiss Played!"

Lugnut did not. Starscream raised his arms and fired his super-charged null rays straight into the purple and green Decepticon's face, flipping him over and down the street. Terrified, the remaining Decepticon transformed and fled.

Starscream slowly lowered his smoking weapons.

"I've been wanting to do that for a long time." He declared. "Imbecilic moron."

A few seconds later, a limp body fell from Starscream's plating and flopped, laughing hysterically, to the ground. Bumblebee, recovering from Blitzwing's icy attacks, warily approached and prodded the human.

"Marluxia? Aren't you supposed to be staying at the base?"

Marluxia stood up and brushed himself off, shamelessly naked again, then turned to glance at Starscream who was pretending in vain that he wasn't there.

"You were the ones who asked for back up."

Prowl, also back on his stabilising servos, glanced coldly at the jet.

"And what about Starscream?"

Starscream glared back, defensively.

"What? It's not like I have any alliance with Megatron's brainless grunts."

He reached down and picked Marluxia up with a care that nobody expected, least of all himself.

"I'm just here for the Kiss Player."

He disappeared into the night sky.


End file.
